"To be or not to be, that is the question..." - Shakespeare in Hamlet
The rain is softly clattering on the glass roofing of our porch. Our Jack Russel is looking at my zooming laptop with confusion from across the room. It's the first time I ever sit here to write a blog post, but now that I'm here, I think I should do it more often. It has been raining since the beginning of the week, so I've locked myself inside and am working away a few projects around the house. We spent the last three days re-paining the last room on our to-paint list: my bedroom. I did this last paint job on my own and, if I may say so, I did a pretty good job! No stripes, no skew-y corners and no paint residue on the woodwork, hooray!
Being home alone and painting, with the doors closed and the windows wide open to let in the fresh rainy air, gave me a lot of time to think. And did it do me good. I had been feeling restless the past months. Something wasn't feeling right, but with school and all I didn't have much time to stop and think things over. These rainy days came as a blessing, and when I sat down on the ground, slowly painting my walls from bottom to top, the old gears in my head started turning to the beats of Bon Jovi and Roxette. I was processing things, and the main thing on my mind was my blog.
I've been worrying about The Ginger Diaries for a good year now. Proof of that is a desperate post in my drafts titled "To Pull The Plug". I have re-written and edited that post probably a thousand times by now, but I never found the courage to hit the publish button. And to tell the truth, I don't want to publish it. I might not be retiring my blog just yet, but I can also no longer deny that it's time to make a change. Because today and after six and a half years in the business I no longer take joy in blogging. It's a feeling that came gradually and grew stronger and stronger with every new blog post I published. I wasn't doing something that I loved anymore.